Ingin Pulang

i miss this brat.
waaaaaaaaargh august please come soon!

My Hippocratic Oath

Its 3am and its raining outside.
Been browsing through my entries after a verrrry flattering comment(Thanks babe yes I remember u) and discovered its rather memalukan that I haven't really written anything with much substance for a while.

Janji koas postponed lagi!
I'm irritated by the fact that I could have seized this opportunity and gone back Malaysia. But there's no denying that pleasant feeling when I realize I get another week to bum around instead of freaking out about the future.
Everything I've learned or tried to in these last 4years will be put to the test.
My resolve, my endurance, my faith in myself will probably be strained and bent.
I'll be bullied, called names, embarrassed, humiliated.
THAT I am sure I can take.
Its the stuff they don't tell you that worries me.
How hard will it be to sleep at night after I watch someone lose their child?
How hard will it be not to cry when I tell someone there's nothing left we can do?
How hard will the guilt be when I realize so many have it so bad?
Will I be able to live with myself if I make a fatal mistake?
Will I be able to live with myself if I find out I can't take it?

Guess its a good time to remember why I wanted all this.

To give everybody that second chance,
To witness little everyday miracles,
To stare death in the face and not flinch,
To witness humanity at every turn,
To learn of life from every possible side,
To live for somebody else.

I pray I have the will and strength to finish what I started.
I want to be remembered, not just by the people I know, but also by strangers whose lives I was able to touch in some remote small way.
I want to be significant, not shouted from the rooftops, not set in stone or carved in steel, but in the tender whisper of a mother to her newborn son, the extended lease on an ailing father's final months, the reason a smoker quits.
That shall be my mark on the world.

AMIN.

*reedited this from my friendster blog. Seems awfully poyo the 1st time i reread it but decided that it shall be like my personal Hippocratic oath.Which means the poyoness is totally acceptable!

It's been awhile

just because.
full post coming up=)

omg its 0234 and i'm supposed to be up at 8 to play futsal tomorrow morning hahaha

PASS

hmmph.
and here i was planning to go back Malaysia.
just goes to show my "instinct" about about matters regarding myself suck-ass.
Oh well.
Celebrations are in order i guess.

CONGRATS SEMUA YG PASS!!

YANG FAIL, NO WORRIES GUYS, YOU'LL PROBABLY GET TO BE AROUND JOGJA IN MAY!!
dammit.

*i hate posing solo.and that picture is proof why.

OMG

My ten day holidays start thursday.
Which means I shall start being bored tomorrow.
(Heck, I'm bored right now)

Goddammit.
What am I supposed to do for ten freaking days here in Jogja without class and reports?
There is nothing to study for or obsess about.
Damn.Even freedom has its downsides.

So I decided to make a list of things I should probably do.

1. Spend an entire day in Jolie.
2. Go iceskating/bowling/pool/swimming.
3. Watch my long-on-hold Season 2 of Gossip Girls.
4. Re-watch Scrubs.All seasons.
5. Get a dye job.
6. Go salon-ing.
7. Attempt to walk to Malioboro.
8. Shoot a movie.Haha.
9. Do a photoshoot with a compact camera.(Org SLR semua balik)
10. Do a Josh Hartnett bus date with TransJogja.
11. Learn how to cook.
12. Go Solo waterpark.
13. Play basket/futsal.
14. Get a part time job.
15. Make generic birthdays cards for future use.
16. Bug Aziz for one whole day.
17. Settle my dedication cards.


Hmmm. And I shall blog everyday about what I do!
Wahahaha. Lame gila.

lessons of the day

when the corresponding authority does nothing,
retaliate with an efficient well-placed blow at the wrongful party.

sorry. seriously. seriously.
keeping emotions in check is not exactly my strongest point.
but hey i don't see why we should continue the animosity off court.


and its nice how some people can still surprise me.
thank you really.
i need to be proven wrong once in awhile.

Tagged lagi!!

1) Take a recent picture of yourself or take a picture of yourself right NOW!. 2) DON’T change your clothes, DON’T fix your hair…just take a picture. 3) Post that picture with NO editing. 4) Post these instruction with your picture. 5) Tag 10 people to do this.

I did exactly all that was mentioned above ok.

WARNING - Some of these answers will definitely put off potential suitors hahaha.If you think you might wanna date me in the future, I strongly suggest you DON'T READ it. Hell, you'll probably get nightmares.

1.How old are you?
22. Old enough to still be an idiot most of the time though,haha.

2. Are you single?
Nope.

3. In what age do you think you’ll get married?
Earliest 27.Most probably 28 kot.

4. Do you think you’ll be marrying the person you are with now?
Nope.No further comments on this=)

5. If not, who do you want to marry?
THE ONE. My other half,better half,significant other,partner,soul mate-whatever people are calling em these days.

6. Do you want a garden/beach wedding, or the traditional wedding?
Hell yes garden wedding!Though I'm the 1st grandchild, I plan to scheme, scream and threaten my way into what I want. Hence also, my future husbands family has to either be very sporting or non-existent.

7. Your ideal motif?
White with splashes of colourful bouquets of every flower under the sun at every corner.Or tasteful blue and gold furnishings with white lilies and gerbera daisies at every table. Lilac is also an option. I'm going for colour!

8. Where do you plan to go on a honeymoon?
Paris-Rome-Athens.Scotland, Ireland boleh jugak. Paling cikai we do a tour of Asia. I love places with history, character and plenty of cun places to make out in public.HAHAHAAa.I'll be married people!Screw everybody else!

9. How many guests do you think you’ll invite?
I have no idea la. I totally suck at estimating crowds numbers.

10. Do you want an extravagant wedding or a simple wedding?
Extravagant seems to border on tacky. I much prefer something something that just basically speaks for itself without having stand up and shout.Does that make sense?

11. Do you want the traditional vows or something you’d make up on your own??
Original please. Ok la my future hubby is allowed to borrow from songs if I think it totally describes me super well.

12. How many layers of cake do you want to have?
Don't care just as long as its not that crappy icing type.But it definitely has to suit the theme. I was thinking of having cupcakes. How many people actually eat cakes at weddings anyway?

13. Do you prefer having your reception at a hotel or at a simple place?
I'm thinking a destination wedding. But I'd have to marry a suuuuuuper rich guy to do that or at least earn gazillions before I get married. BAH! Beachside resort sudah kot. Maybe somewhere in KK.Sipadan ke.Hahahaha.

14. When do you want to get married, evening or morning?
Evening, preferably at dusk----SAME LA DINIE!!

15. You’d rather have your reception outdoors or indoors?
Outdooors!!Mosquitos hate me, other people can just suck it up and shut up.

16. Do you like a grand entrance for your groom/bride?
HELL YES.This day is about me, me and me!

17. Name the song/tune you’d like played at your wedding?
I'm having a band that plays Colbie Caillat, Sarah Bareilles, Sheila on 7, Marie Digby and future hubby can add a few kot. He has to sing me Anugerah Terindah Yang Pernah Ku Milik of course. If his voice sucks ass then he can fly Duta to do it for him.

18. Are you a morning person or a night person?
Night.Hence the dusk thing I think I would look super crappy in the morning.

19. Do you want a solemn ceremony or a light one?
Light.Screw everything conventional and traditional like campak2 air mawar and bersanding and etc which I absolutely HATE HATE HATE having to sit through all that at other peoples weddings.

20. What age do you want to get married?
After 2/3 years of experiencing single working life. Like Sex and the City minus the sleeping around kot.

21. Describe your ideal husband/wife.

Somebody who would sing me A Beautiful Mess by Jason Mraz feeling abes because he meant every single word. Somebody who can sweep me off my feet yet keeps me grounded. Somebody who knows all my quirks and little rules and thinks them cute and lovable. Somebody who would hold me close the minute he knows I'm hurting. Somebody who automatically puts his arm around me when he notices some random guy checking me out. Somebody who brushes the hair out of my eyes when I'm all sweaty and flustered. Somebody who would wake up in the wee hours of the morning just to make me breakfast because I asked. Somebody I can share absolutely everything and anything with.

Somebody who wants me to be the last thing he sees at night and the first thing he sees in the morning.

Even after 5,10,20,30,50 years.

22. Do you prefer fine dining or just the normal spoon & fork/knife?
Tangan sudaaaah.

23. Champagne or red wine?
Never tasted either.

24. Honeymoon right after the wedding or days after the wedding?
Right after!There is no way in hell we're doing it anywhere in the vicinity of my parents.TOTAL gross-ness.

25. Money or household item?
Money. Or self picked wedding registry household items. I hate surprises. Unless good friends that really know me picks them.

26. Who will pay for the bills?
Share la!I hardly think its fair he's footing the bill for MY fantasies.

27. Are you ready for married life?
Definitely nope. But I'm hanging on to the hope that when you're with THE ONE, everything just sorta falls into place.

28. Do you think you will still be a virgin until u get married?
Yup.Unless James Mc Avoy/Josh Hartnett/Nick Atkinson is all alone with me on a deserted island.Hahahaa.

29. Will you always be true to your wife/husband?
Definitely. Infidelity is something I cannot even fathom forgiving. Why would I do that to someone else?

30. How many kids do you like?
3.I also want different sex twins!

31. A new house for a newly wed or an old one?
Don't care.

32. Will you celebrate silver wedding, gold wedding, or diamond wedding?
There's no way to tell for sure is there.I am not totally against the idea of divorce if its the best thing for all parties.

33. What kind of cuisine would you like for your wedding?
This is one aspect of my wedding I could not care less about. I'll let future hubby decide this one so that he doesn't feel like I'm totally monopolizing the wedding.

34. Will you record your honeymoon in a cd or dvd?
DVD or whatever more canggih format the future brings.

I tag:

1. Balvin
2. Ayu
3. Nadiawani
4. Toy
5. Nani
6. Doyot
7. Irda
8. Pedon
9. Fren
10. Sape2 la yg nak update but no ideas.
    

nah sayda!!

zaman rambut natural

zaman rambut perm

zaman rmbut pendek tapi di fake pjg

**zaman rambut pendek x banyak gambar sebab dah tiada camera

The unevitable

Its back to Jogja this Sunday!
Dammit.5weeks felt way shorter this time around.
As much as I am looking forward to the unlimited freedom that awaits me in Jogja, there is much to be missed here in Malaysia.
The car.
The comfort eating binges.
The darling ever so baik hati driver.
The breakfastses.
The family.
Who else is gonna force me to wake up so I'll send them to school.
Who else is gonna bug me to drive them to the playground.
Who else is gonna do my bidding?
Everybody's growing up so fast too.
I've settled for probably being the shortest in the family.

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

and I'm plucking up the courage to ask for an early graduation present.

Canon EOS 1000D (Rebel XS/ Kiss F)

Please please please come delivered by my smiling parents on my graduation day.
PLEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAASE.
Yes I know zero-nil-jack-shit about handling a dSLR.
BUT I AM SO WILLING TO LEARN!!
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
UPDATED: asked.no definites.an awesome transition car isn't really MY grad present is it? SIGH. maybe I'll just have to wait til my 1st paycheck.

Why I want a SLR

To literally capture moments like these.

Who says you need wings to fly?

Blue sky blue

Laskar pelangi

I love everybody's expression here even though Geetha's covering half her face

My favourite kampung boy

The lonely road

Green green grass

Hee-haw

Sepet II

Journey ends in lovers meeting
Ehem!
*
*
*
*
*
*
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Imagine if I can take these awesome shots using a compact camera, what great feats I will be able to perform with a SLR.Hahaha.Great, now all I have to do is convince my parents!

Now for some self indulgent shots!
Hahahaaa


hmmph.it does look like weed

anyhoo,
Slamat Hari Raya everyone!

MALU!!!

So Kuden tells me Centro ( Indonesia's version of Jusco, Metrojaya, Tang's) will be hosting a sneaker drawing competition and he insisted I should try my luck. He said he immediately thought of me and my love for conteng-conteng sangka kreatif past time and insisted I give it a try.
I thought what the heck. Who knows kan, paling busuk maybe I'll get some consolation prize or doorgift plus I am currently super super free.
So me,Geetha,Swarna decided to go catch a movie and ask Centro for the details.
Unfortunately The Mummy's tix were sold out for the day.
So we headed to Centro where I saw the Customer Service guy I know. Being super familliar with the guy, I strolled up confidently and asked about the details of the competition.
Were the materials provided? What type of sneakers were we to draw on? Prizes?
He then asked, "Kamu punya keponakan ya yang mahu masuk?"

"KEPONAKAN????"
For you non-Indonesian-language understanding people that means niece or nephew.

As I stood there blankly with my mouth open the horrible truth dawned on me.

THE CONTEST WAS FOR CHILDREN.

This guy I know then says "Iya.Cuman untuk anak2 umur 7-11 tahun,"

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT???!!

So to cover malu, I pointed out it was not stated in the pamphlet.
He thanked me for my observation and said he would rectify the matter.
MALUNYE SAYE.

TAG!

My First Tag
And I am only doing it a week later.hehe
So sooory Phaik Sia! But thanku for giving me something to blog about.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The rules:
1. Link to your tagger and post these rules.
2. List eight (8) random facts about yourself.
3. Tag eight people at the end of this post and list their names.

TAG#1
Eight random facts about myself:

1. Contrary to popular belief, I am not really as mean as I look.Seriously!

2. I love reading. I finished Grisham and Crichton in matriculation thanks to KMPP's not-too-shabbily-stocked library.

3. I read classics. All time fav 3 - Wuthering Heights, A Tale of Two Cities, Hunchback of Notre Dame.

4. I hate peas, chick lit (Cabot, Shopaholic series dan yang sewaktu dengannya),pineapples on my pizza, corn in my nasik goreng,string beans, anything resembling string beans, Britney Spears, Hillary Duff, Simple Plan, Kirsten Dunst, Jennifer Aniston ... omigod I could go on for days=)

5. I believe in sea monsters. 70% of the whole planet is water and the deepest parts of the world are REALLY deep. Who knows wtf is down there?When Sea Nessie/Kraken comes eat you when you're swimming in the ocean laughing at me I'll just wave, safe in my plane on board something like the US Navy battleships, in case the monster goes for the ship too.

6. I do realize I am fat by magazine/mass standards. Somedays I have fat-I-should-diet days. But most days I go get an icecream and get over it.

7. I still want a bad-ass-super-cool Optimus Prime robot, the one my Dad promised me when I was five but later decided to let my mom buy me Barbie instead. Which I always tied up and let my stuffed animals save from some imagined evil baddie.

8. I really really want to save the world. Or atleast a life before I go.


TAG #2
Instructions:
Remove 1 question from below, and add in your personal question to make it a total of 20 questions.


1. What do you want the most now?
As of this moment, be super rich. (Second thoughts, I want everyone that I love to be happy.)

2. If you can have one more dream come true, what would it be? choose one: cure the environment from global warming and pollution, a cure for cancer, end wars and violence..
Cancer cure.

3. What are you afraid to lose now?
People I care about. Mainly my family.

4. Do you believe in being in love forever?
I dont know. When I am there, I'll let you know.

5. If you meet someone you love, would you confess to him/her?
Hell yes! What's the point of NOT trying?

6. What would you do when you're feeling down and depressed?
Go find someone who'll make me feel better. Usually its my significant other.

7. Which type of person do you hate the most?
People who say one thing in front of you but another when you turn your back.

8. Do you cherish every single of your friendships?
Nope. Some yes, some so-so.

9. Do you believe in God?
Yes. I believe in a supreme being that governs mankind and the galaxy and etc but I also believe He's a lot more understanding than religion lets us think.

10. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
Family. Friends. Being happy.

11. Do you find it necessary for you to have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
Nope. Its great yeah, but I am not any less worthy without a man in my life. Who doesn't want a shot at the Sex and City life?Haha.

12. What do you want your friends to be like?
To get why I am the way I am.

13. What kind of friend do you hope to be in your friends' eyes?
A GREAT friend, but a BAD BAD BAD enemy.

14. If you can have a change, which part of your character would you like to change?
My temper and inability to let go of some things.

15. Would you die in order to save the ones you love?
Hell yes.

16. What would you do if you've lost everything in one shot?
I hope that never happens. But I suppose try to see the silver lining.

17. What would u do if your 'friends' are not really your friends anymore?
Get better ones.

18. What do you see yourself as in the next 5 years?
An overworked, skinny, doctor with aweful eyebags but who wakes up every morning and goes to bed every night knowing its all worth it.

19. When do u think is the best time for you to set up a family?
At least 2years after I get married. And honeymooned on another continent.=)

20. If you could be in the shoes of anybody else in the whole of history/fiction for a day, who would it be?
(Lara Croft.Heeehee)

I tag:
Anybody who reads my blog and likes this entry.
Ha-ha.

I miss Malaysia

Places i MUSTmustMUST go when i am back!

1. My fav mamak in Tmn Ehsan.Roti canai,roti pisang,tosai!
2. My fav nasi lemak shop in Damansara.
3. My fav burger Ramly stall.
4. My fav nasi goreng kampung in Damansara.
5. The nasi briyani near Mum's office.
6. Nice Granma's house for scrumptious Minang hom cooked meals.
7. Secret Recipe.Raspberry cheesecake!
8. Big Apple.Lets see how u compare to JCo.
9. Kenny Rogers.Original mufffffins!
10. A&W floats and Curly fries.
11. McD's breakfast.Sausage McMuffins!
12. Manhattan Fish Market.Nothing specific.
13. KFC Zinger and I would like to try the XXXL burger too.heh.
14. Starbucks.Java Chip Frap and choc cake!
15. Mydin.Japanese cheese cake,Anlene yogurt!
16. 1901.Texas Ted extra cheese!
17. Auntie Anne's pretzels!
18. Famous Amos fresh made cookies!
19. Chilli's.Choc molten!
20. THE CURVE many fine restaurants.Ayu you promised!!!!
21. How could I forget??My fav Tomyam,daging masak merah and kailan ikan masin shop!

I is hungry.

Just a thought

I like to think that I am unpredictable.
That that is the reason why people try not piss me off.
That that is the reason why I make an awesome friend, but a really bad enemy.

I had some drama happen to me some time back involving a skinny bacul two-faced sangke bagus loser.
Note: I did not use bitch purposely.Tis a word too good for her.

My glory mean days have passed, methinks.
Nowadays, I just feel kesian half the time.
Don't get me wrong, I would so still like to see her cry.
I don't bitchslap, if there's gonna be a fight, I will be punching.
Cue taekwondo instructor's voice reminding me to not abuse my skills, it is only for self defence!

*Grins*
After all, what you give you get back right?

On another note,I really miss tkd. I just realized what a major part of my childhood it was. For those of you who dont know, my mother believes in a very well rounded upbringing. All my siblings enroll in plenty of extra activities even before we go kindy.

What do I miss about tkd?
I miss the kicking.
I miss the sandbags.
I miss the satisfied sweating.
I miss my belt-buddies who used to make me laugh everytime we hold a stance.
I miss seeing Spencer and Shamim get punished for being monkeys.
I miss the twins who was forever offering me a drink during fasting days.
I miss usually being the only girl. Make that Malay girl.
I miss that koko who paid special attention to me because of the above reason.
I miss the TTDI cendol my dad will always take me to after class.
I miss the Swensen's my mom would treat me especially because I fasted and went tkd.
I miss how Nadhirah would bug my mom for Ayamas chicken pies.
I miss that nice uncle in Kancilmas who would let me read R.L Stine for free.
I miss the awed look of guys when they realize a chick is their senior in class.
I miss seeing cute guys jaws fall open when they realize I am not just any other girl.Haha
I can beat them up properly.With technique.=)

Hmmmph.Maybe I should retake the classes.

waiting for friday

Only one more day of coming-back-in-the-afternoon classes then i get to spend a lazy Friday.though there is that meeting to go to at 1pm.
Then Clinical Pathology exams on Saturday and Physio after.
Massive eating due to happen that night!
Cant wait!!

Btw peeps,Adrian got admitted in Panti Rapih because of dengue.
Messages and get well soon wishes are welcomed but visits will have to be coordinated and regulated.He has family here la.Anybody who doesn't have his number can ask me.

When I got sick,it was so very okay for you all to come harass me because I was so bored.=)
No, I have no pics of me at that time because I looked so awful.
Thanku all.I still remember okay.

Payal, Balvin who tido hotel.
Geetha who gave me her biscuits to eat if I ever got hungry.
Aziz for dragging me to the hospital and helping me make my decisions.
Aini for the jus jambu yg sedap gile.
Nair and Mohan who brought boxed versions of the jambu juice.
Guna who smuggled me nasik goreng pedas when I was feeling better.
Swarna for her biskut kelape ROMA.
Kuden,Belle,Pong,who ate it all.
Especially Pong yg gile lahap nak abeskan food org saket.
Dikky, Maya for saving me from crazy boredom.
Has bawak buah.
Babies with updated gossip.
SUJEN just for coming to see me.=)
Arif,Hasnul,Anep,Haneef,Gana,Dina and everybody else who also came and without doing anything specifically embarassing or funny.

Anybody else i missed?Do tell.I had DHF.I think I'm allowed to forget some stuff.Heh.

heh

wow.i dont blog for a week and now i'm writing two posts in a night?
just thought i'd share something with you all.
this is the 1st page of the diary my mom gave me.
she got it free from Island&Peninsular Berhad and its impressively artsy.
(hey u get loads of stuff from contractors when ur an archi it seems)

FINE! I'll fill it in myself!

People know me as Nadiah .
but close friends call me NK, as above.
Sometimes I'm referred to as THE ___________.


THIS IS A SELF PORTRAIT
If a movie is made about me,the song She's a Rebel, Greenday must be in the soundtrack.
3 words to describe me
sarcastic
outgoing
oddly romantic
3 words i want to be described as
enviable
witty
unforgettable
One day,I will be a great
doctor amen
writer
photographer;)

Try your hand at it peeps.As for moi, I drew a serious blank at line 3.THE what????.I am sure some people would say biatch automaticly.haha.
And yes,I know I have asked this before but NOW i have a place to properly record it.So fill in the blanks baby!Good or bad I'll take it all.To further aid some of you who might not know me by sight or plain forgot what I look like or am like,here are some visual aids.
Yes,I believe in first impressions.

contrary to popular belief,medical students do get bored and start playing around with rubber models of the brain.

Yes,we are are bad-asses too.SKEMA i think not.

If u guys are wondering,that guy i take a lot of pics with is NOT the bf.Meet Dikky,the greatest camwhore I have ever met.
Balvin/Payal you are a close 2nd.I haven't decided.

thats.the.BF.huhu

BALI.BALI.BALI!
yes,the BF is the shirtless one with the flat hair.Dont ask.
The swan princess ballet.Me as the ugly duckling.

And the grand finale.................

Inspired from ANTM.heh.

NOTE TO SELF: do a post on Borobodur and its secret power later.

17 march 2008

i am now officially 22.
omigod.it feels old.i still remember being 18 and not wanting to hit the big two-oh.
hehe.
so anyway,in honour of my birthday=)
here's 9 things i want people to know.

1. 17 march is St.Patrick's day.Shamrocks rule baby!


U can read up more about the festival here.

2. I was born caesarian-style.The doctor had to come get me.
3. I was the only girl delivered that day.and I had hair!So I was clearly everyone's favourite.

Think her.With spiky fine hair.Uh-huh.I was irresistible. More cute babies here.

4. My mum actually went in labor on the 16th.Ceh.How not special.I like sharing my birthdate with a festival.
5. I made the papers on 18 March 1986.No,its not "Miracle Baby Girl" or something.Apparently Kalamazoo,Michigan town paper reports ALL new additions to the town.
6. I was raised in Malaysia.I left the US when i was months old.My "accent" is the product of tv. Blame Ninja turtles,GI joe,Carebears,Xmen,Thundercats,Jem,My little pony and that cartoon where adorable insects will eat moon-beamed water.
7. I have a pic of me when I was a day old.I look dead-ass ugly.


8. According to the parents,I was birat (dark or a certain bruised colour) when i was a kid.Not much sunlight in winter.
9. Oh yeah,I was born in winter.My dad says it was hell burying my tali pusat/placenta.